A wise person once said that the best way to keep track of the economy is to look at the price of fuel. And as I stand in front of a Shell shop right now, staring at the signboard, I can’t help but think of my fellow broke brothers and sisters who will be returning to their campuses next semester.
In anticipation of you losing so much money because (let’s face the reality) you will overspend, here are six (6) unique ways to stay financially afloat while in university.
- Gari and Indomie
Gone are the days when you could order waakye with spaghetti, a piece of meat, an egg and salad and still end up with a nice total less than 10 cedis. Stop being a dbee and invest in gari and Indomie today! No, I’m not suggesting you combine them, the economy isn’t that bad yet… but if you want to, it’s well within your rights.
2. It’s not every party you have to attend
To my girls who are Instagram baddies and my bros who are dying for nyash or anyone who is really involved in college nightlife, you don’t need to be at every event. Legon, you’re there; Cantonments, you’re there; Osu, you’re there; even Kumasi, you’re there; meanwhile, your university is in Berekuso. Take advice, please. Take advice.
3. Starve
If you say you didn’t see this one coming, you’re lying. There’s nothing a little dry fasting can’t solve. Whether you add the prayers or not, you’ll be saving the money you would have otherwise spent on food. Side effects include nausea, malnutrition, and ultimately death. But it’s for the best
4. Sell Your Organs
Fun fact: a kidney is worth over $200,000… and you have two! And the liver apparently regenerates… so why not just chop it off? This is your sign to start an excel spreadsheet of all the organs you’re willing to lose and see the total profit you’ll see flowing into your pockets. No organ is off limits, dream big.
5. Juju / Black Magic
We’ve given you so many practical, easy ways to make money. But this one has to be the easiest and probably the most effective. Just look at the success stories in Ghallywood and Nollywood movies. I’m sure there’s an auntie you don’t like, or another distant relative who you’re willing to sacrifice. Stop suffering and choose juju, today!
6. Leave this page
The fact that you’re still reading just shows you’re not serious. Is it this article you’re going to use to inspire you to save money? Out of respect for you and your pockets, I’ll just ask you to pack your things and go and find a more reliable source.
