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Dear Reader Help: My ex has become a nuisance, how do I stop him?

Hi Auntie Abena,

I hope you’re doing well. My ex has become a nuisance in my life and I really need your help with it. It has been bothering me for a while now.

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I met my ex last year and we started dating. Unfortunately for me, he lied about his age and other important things, and when I discovered the truth, I confronted him. He admitted that he lied because he thought I wouldn’t be interested in him otherwise. I was deeply hurt by this, but I decided to move on and accept what happened.

However, I no longer have any emotional attachment to him and want to end the relationship. The problem is, he doesn’t want to let go and has become obsessed with me, which is really scary. I’ve tried to end things with him for the past six months, but he persists and keeps finding ways to contact me, even after I blocked him on various platforms. I’m genuinely worried for my safety.

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He claims that his guilty conscience is eating him up, and he wants to do right by me because he loves me, but I’m not interested in anything involving him anymore. I don’t want to cause any harm to his girlfriend, whom he also lied about for the entirety of our relationship.

I even threatened to forward his messages to his girlfriend in the hope that it would make him stop bothering me, but he quickly deleted all the WhatsApp messages to cover his tracks (I know the lady’s Facebook handle).

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I feel stuck and don’t know how to make him stop pursuing me. Can you please advise me on how to handle this situation?

PS: The reason we broke up is that he already had a girlfriend of 5-6 years, and he lied about her throughout our relationship.

Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it.

ADVICE FROM AUNTY ABENA

My Dear,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult situation with this guy. It’s important to prioritize your safety and emotional well-being in this situation. Here are some steps you can take to protect yourself and handle the situation:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Firmly and clearly communicate to him that you no longer wish to have any contact or relationship with him. Be assertive and let him know that his behavior is not acceptable. Avoid engaging in conversations that could lead to confusion or mixed signals.

2. Keep Evidence: If he continues to harass or stalk you, make sure to document all instances of unwanted contact or any threatening behavior. Keep records of messages, calls, or any interactions. This documentation may be helpful if you need to involve authorities in the future.

3. Involve Others: Inform your friends and family about the situation and seek their support. They can be an extra layer of protection and help monitor your safety. If necessary, consider getting a restraining order if you feel threatened.

4. Contact the Authorities: If his behavior becomes increasingly threatening or you fear for your safety, don’t hesitate to involve the police. They can offer guidance and take appropriate actions to ensure your safety.

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5. Avoid One-on-One Encounters: Avoid meeting him in person alone. If he persists in trying to meet up, suggest meeting in public places with friends or family around.

6. Block and Report: Continue blocking him on all platforms and report any harassment or inappropriate behavior to the respective platform’s support team.

7. Seek Professional Help: If his behavior continues to be persistent and intrusive, consider seeking advice from a legal professional or counselor who specializes in dealing with stalking or harassment cases.

Remember, it’s not your responsibility to fix his guilty conscience or take responsibility for his actions. Focus on your own well-being and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. It may take time, but with persistence and the right support, you can break free from this situation.

Take care and stay strong. If you need any further assistance, don’t hesitate to reach out.

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