Good morning, readers. I hope you’re doing well. I have been married for a little over 2 years now, but I have known my wife for a total of 9 years. I am facing a significant problem and would appreciate your advice.
My concern revolves around my wife’s tendency to consistently lie, although I’m hesitant to label her as a liar directly. Whenever I do confront her about it, she responds with the silent treatment until I apologize. I feel like her actions are emotionally manipulating me.
I have reason to believe she lies based on our past experiences. During the first 7 years of our relationship, she rarely stayed overnight at my place, claiming that her father wouldn’t approve. I understood her reasoning at the time, so I didn’t think much of it. However, there was an occasion when she came over and informed me that she was on her period.
She left and returned almost a week later, still experiencing bleeding. Something didn’t feel right, so I contacted her best friend to find out what was going on. It turned out that she had undergone an abortion, which I had suspected but she vehemently denied. When I confronted her about it, she weaved a convoluted tale that made no sense. Despite that, I forgave her, and we eventually got married.
In just 2 years of our marriage, I have discovered several instances where she has lied about various matters. What frustrates me is that instead of apologizing, she portrays herself as the victim and places the blame on me. I understand that we all tell lies to some extent (something I consider a necessary evil), but when it becomes a chronic habit, it becomes concerning. I strive to be as open and transparent as possible because I believe that once we are married, there should be no secrets. Therefore, she knows everything about me, including my passwords and PINs.
However, I don’t feel like I know much about her. This lack of transparency has made me gradually suspicious about the paternity of our twins. I have asked her numerous times, as neither of them seems to possess any of my traits, but she insists that I am the only man she has ever been with. I doubt her statement based on past incidents.
Am I being insensitive? Am I asking for too much? Is this a common trait among people that I am unaware of? (I ask this because I don’t understand why I would lie without any pressure.) Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation, and if so, how did they handle it?
