The dark sides of marriage no one talks about

Marriage is often depicted as a fairy tale a magical union where two souls become one, love conquers all, and “happily ever after” is the default setting.

The sad truth no one talks about is that behind the veils of romanticized ideals and beautiful wedding speeches lies a darker reality. Marriage is not paradise.

In reality, there are no happily ever after’s not even in happy and successful marriages.Marriage requires patience, trust, love, and determination to be successful.

There will be storms in marriage – periods when you may even regret your decision to walk down the aisle.People get married without realizing this aspect of marriage and are usually taken aback when reality finally hits them.

I am not saying that marriage is bad, far from it. Marriage is beautiful, but sometimes we all wish people had prepared us for the darker aspects of marriage.

Here are dark sides of marriage that no one talks about.

1. The weight of unspoken expectations

When you ask why people get married, the leading reason is love, right?However, there are several other expectations people have in marriage.

The truth is that no one walks down the aisle thinking, “Here’s to forever bearing the weight of my partner’s expectations.”But marriage is just about that.Partners have expectations of each other, which sometimes may be too much to bear or handle.

No one is perfect.So, if you have several spoken and unspoken expectations in marriage, you will likely be disappointed from time to time.Our partners are not perfect, so it would be unrealistic to expect them to fulfill all our needs perfectly.

And here’s where the dark side of marriage lies. Expecting your partner to fulfill your needs and then failing to do so sometimes may lead to resentment building up in the relationship.

If this isn’t handled well, the marriage can end up with two people who once loved each other now totally detesting each other.Marriage is successful when we learn to deal with unrealistic expectations.

Most importantly, let’s learn to communicate our expectations without sounding combative.

2. Marriage can be lonely sometimes

I know this feels like a paradox.How can someone be married and still feel lonely?Well, it happens. You can even feel lonelier in your marriage than when you were unmarried.

This is usually not the kind of loneliness that comes from being physically alone.It is the type that comes from being emotionally disconnected.

You might lie in bed next to your spouse, scrolling through your phone, and realize you haven’t had a meaningful conversation in weeks.Life can sometimes get so busy that you barely have time for your partner.

While this shouldn’t happen frequently in a successful marriage, it is a dark side of marriage that most people are not prepared for.There are times in your marriage that it will feel like it’s just you against the world.

This loneliness can be crushing, especially when society tells you that marriage is supposed to be the antidote to it.This is why it is important to develop deep and meaningful friendships with other people.

It is in times like this that you need a strong support system.The good thing about successful marriages is that these periods don’t last for long because the couples usually recover from this period, and the relationship gets even better.

3. The tiring routine

You can try to avoid it as much as you can, but routine can’t be totally eradicated from marriage.Marriage comes with so many responsibilities that it is usually hard for couples to be spontaneous all the time.

While a little bit of spontaneity is great, the truth is that many times, marriage is just so full of routines.The daily grind work, chores, bills, repeat can make marriage feel less like a romance and more like a business partnership.

While walking down the aisle, you were excited and brimming with optimism for the future.

But if care is not taken, the excitement wanes and soon becomes replaced with boredom.The butterflies are now dormant, and it feels like marriage is full of mundane things.

In marriage, you prove your love by consistently showing up, day after day, even when it is boring.And marriage would be boring a lot of the time.It would feel like all your life is about discussing bills, paying bills, picking the kids up from school, and taking them for practice sessions.

4. The pressure to keep up appearances

One of the darkest sides of marriage is the immense pressure to keep up appearances.

After a usually public ceremony involving the exchange of vows to be there for each other until one partner dies, couples may feel the need to keep up appearances in public even when things are not going right in the relationship.

Of course, I don’t expect a partner to come out in public to complain about their marriage, except if it involves abusive behavior.However, having to pretend that you are one big happy family to the public when things are not happy in your relationship is too extreme.

Social media has made it easier than ever to pretend that everything is perfect.The dark side of marriage is how many couples are pressured into creating an illusion about their marriages.

Several couples are trapped in toxic and unhappy marriages, yet they present a false representation of their relationship on social media.The pressure to maintain the illusion of a perfect marriage can be exhausting.

5. The loss of individual identity

Many people don’t think of this before getting married.Before getting married, you were an individual with your own dreams and goals.After you get married, you’re no longer just “YOU.”

Suddenly, you’re part of a unit, a team, a partnership.Don’t get me wrong; marriage is a beautiful partnership when it is done with the right person.It feels like you are a pivotal part.

Marriage is about making sacrifices, and you may find yourself sacrificing your dreams, goals, and hobbies that make you unique.You might find yourself asking, “Where did I go wrong?”

It’s not that your partner is intentionally erasing you—it’s that marriage requires a merging of lives, and sometimes, you lose pieces of yourself in the process.

The only way to battle this is to maintain a bit of individuality, even as you build a life together.You don’t have to do everything together with your partners.Don’t lose touch with your friends because you are married.

You may not have been informed, but marriage is not just you and your partner.Neither is it just you, your partner, and your children.Marriage comes with a package of joy in-laws.

Even though you didn’t include them in your vows, they will try to insert themselves into your marriage by all means.Regardless of how private you are, in-law interference is something you should be prepared for.

Now, some in-laws are great individuals who just want the best for the marriage, but it can still be irritating when what they think is best doesn’t align with your perspective.

So, even nice in-laws can be annoying sometimes.Just imagine how frustrating it would be to have the not-so-nice ones.They will try to insert themselves into almost everything you do as a couple.

It is with in-laws like these that you need to be firm.You need to be firm to ensure that you have a successful marriage.However, this doesn’t mean you should be rude or unpleasant to your in-laws.You can still be nice to them while firmly maintaining that your marriage is not their business…CONTINUE MORE READING>>>