4 types of people you must forgive to truly free yourself
Let’s be honest—forgiveness is often misunderstood. It doesn’t mean saying what someone did was okay, pretending you weren’t hurt, or even trying to patch things up with the person who caused you pain. Forgiveness is something much more personal than that. It’s about choosing—consciously and courageously—to let go of the resentment, anger, and bitterness that keep you stuck in the past.
Holding onto those feelings can drain your energy, affect your relationships, and sometimes even show up as physical tension or pain. But by forgiving, you’re not doing anyone else a favour—you’re doing it for yourself. And while forgiveness isn’t easy, the peace it brings is worth it.
Here are four types of people you might need to forgive in order to truly free yourself and move forward with more lightness in your life.
1. Yourself
Let’s start with the hardest one. Many of us are walking around with the heavy baggage of guilt, shame, and self-blame. We beat ourselves up over past mistakes, missed opportunities, things we said or didn’t say, or simply not being “good enough.” And that harsh inner critic? It often does more damage than anything someone else could say.
Why it matters: Forgiving yourself means accepting that you’re human and imperfect—and that’s okay. It opens the door to growth, healing, and self-compassion. You’re not defined by your past. In fact, those very mistakes can become the building blocks for wisdom and strength.
How it frees you: Once you let go of that constant self-punishment, you create space for courage and confidence. You stop living in the shadow of old regrets and begin to believe in your ability to start fresh.
2. Your Parents or Guardians
No parent is perfect. Most did the best they could with what they knew, but that doesn’t erase the hurt many of us carry from childhood—whether it’s emotional neglect, constant criticism, or simply not getting the love and support we needed.
Why it matters: Forgiving your parents isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending everything was fine. It’s about breaking free from those early wounds so you can stop repeating the same patterns in your adult life. It’s also about seeing your parents as flawed people, not just as the authority figures from your past.
How it frees you: Letting go of resentment towards your parents can bring a surprising amount of peace. It helps you show up differently in your own relationships and gives you the emotional space to define your identity on your own terms—not through the lens of old family dynamics.
3. Someone Who Deeply Hurt You—Even If They Never Apologised
This is probably the most difficult one. Maybe it was a friend who betrayed you, a partner who broke your heart, or someone who caused real emotional—or even physical—harm. And maybe they never said sorry. Maybe they never even admitted they did anything wrong.
Why it matters: Forgiving them doesn’t mean you’re excusing what happened. It means you’re taking back your power. Holding onto anger gives that person continued control over your emotions and energy. Letting go is about reclaiming your peace.
How it frees you: Forgiveness here lifts a huge emotional weight. It clears up space that was being taken up by pain and anger so you can use that energy for yourself—for healing, for growth, for joy.
4. The “Ideal” Version of Someone You Loved
This kind of forgiveness is more subtle, but just as powerful. Maybe you had big hopes for someone—a friend, a partner, a mentor, or even a family member. Maybe you believed they were something they turned out not to be, or you held onto an image of who you wished they were.
Why it matters: Letting go of your expectations and forgiving someone for not living up to the version you had in your mind allows you to stop clinging to “what could have been.” It helps you accept the reality of who they are—or who they became.
How it frees you: This kind of forgiveness releases you from living in the past. It frees you from replaying “what ifs” and lets you either reconnect with the real version of that person or gently step away with peace.
Forgiveness is a Journey, Not a Moment
It’s important to know that forgiveness doesn’t always happen in a single moment. More often, it’s a process. Some days you might feel like you’ve let go, only for a wave of anger or sadness to hit again. That’s normal.
The key is to be intentional. Acknowledge the hurt. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. And when you’re ready, make the choice—again and again—to release that pain, not for them, but for you.
You might find healing through journaling, talking to a therapist, meditating, or even just sitting quietly with your thoughts. However you get there, what matters most is this: forgiveness is freedom. It allows you to show up fully in your life, unburdened by the past, and ready to create something new.
You deserve that peace. You really do.