You know how some conversations are so bad that you begin to feel trapped in them. The other person does stuff that makes you cringe but you can’t just log out of the conversation. Sadly, we can all sometimes be the person that makes someone else cringe. Here is how to avoid that. These are bad habits that people have in conversation. Avoid them and keep the vibe going.
1. Interrupting The Other Person
One thing that can turn a conversation bad is interrupting when someone is speaking. This happens a lot in arguments. Instead of allowing the other person to get their point across, you stop them before they have a chance to speak so that you can get more points in. This, as you can imagine, will be annoying for that person. It’s not surprising if the whole conversation begins to turn them off.
2. Asking For Things
Yes, asking for things can ruin a good conversation. When you have to ask someone for something, make sure that you’re clear that that’s the reason why you’re approaching them. What you don’t want to do is be having a good conversation about a thing, and then because you’re both all laughs, capitalizing on that good energy to bring up a request. That’s a tad manipulative; no one likes that.
3. Being A Know-It-All
I don’t know why, but sometimes people feel the need to have an opinion on every single thing; no matter how ill-formed that opinion is. If you don’t know something, you aren’t required to speak on it. Don’t just put words together and try to sound like you know what you’re talking about. Don’t just say phrases that you’ve heard around either. People can usually see through that, and you don’t make a good impression.
4. Making It All About You
A good conversation is a give-and-take. When you are genuinely interested in talking to someone, it’s not because you want to talk at them. It’s also because you want their unique views and insights. It’s a bad habit to pretend to ask the person that you’re talking to a question, just so you can end up answering it yourself. Something like asking “Have you ever been to Bali?” just so that you can tell the person that you have been.
5. Stealing The Other Person’s Turn
When someone starts speaking, sometimes you just want to tell them “me too!” and that’s fine as long as you let them finish what they’re saying. However, some people just take over whatever you were saying. “Oh, you watched a movie this weekend? I watched a movie too and it was life-changing…” and then they proceed to tell you about their whole weekend, and you didn’t even get to recommend the movie that you were going to recommend to them.
6. Bragging, But Trying Not To Brag
It’s alright to have good news. And it’s perfectly alright to tell your friends about your good news. Sometimes sharing good news can feel like bragging and that makes some people uncomfortable. However, if that makes you feel bad, what is even worse is being overly modest about things that you are actually excited that you accomplished.
7. Ignoring Body Language
Body language is just as much of conversations as what is being said. When you’re talking to someone, you can generally tell how the conversation is going from their expressions. However, some people ignore those tells in order to keep talking about whatever they’re talking about. If you can tell from their body language that someone isn’t too interested in the conversation or they’re offended by something that you said, just take the hint. And act accordingly.
8. Not Taking Any Pauses
When we are talking about things that excite us, it’s easy to just go off. We can just lose ourselves talking about that thing. However, that’s not a good habit. You need to take some pauses when you’re talking to make sure that the person you’re talking to is interested and following along. Otherwise, you just monologue to someone who would rather run away than listen.
9. Giving Advice At The Wrong Time
When people come to you to vent, they aren’t always looking for a solution. Sometimes they just want someone to acknowledge what they’re going through. When you start listing all the things that they can do (most of which are obvious and would occur to them), you just make it difficult for that person to talk to you about their problems. Wait. If they ask for advice, then you give it.
10. Disagreeing Over Preferences
There is really no reason why you should be in a heated argument with someone over either of your preferences. It’s alright for people to like different things. Honestly, Chocolate vs Strawberry shouldn’t be a reason for an argument.
11. Asking Too Many Questions At Once
It’s great when you are interested in what the person that you’re talking to is saying to you. However, asking too many questions at once, even out of excitement, can derail the person speaking’s train of thought. Asking a lot of questions can also appear to some people as you being suspicious of them.
12. Not Listening
There is no way that you haven’t head this before. One of the greatest conversational skills is the ability to listen. If you are only talking and not listening to the person that you’re talking to, then you might not even realize that you’re not on the same page as them. And people can tell when you’re not listening. It’s a great way to ruin a conversation.
